I am getting grown up and have all my permanent teeth and all, but I like to think of you as a favorite childhood friend. And right now, I need a friend. My parents don't seem to hear me when I say that Dylan has done it again. And I am saying it over and over again.
I'm writing to you while I'm watching him. I'm not babysitting because he's not a baby anymore. I am destructo-boy sitting and I need help! He's not a baby and he's not a man so he must be a boy. But I'm a boy. He's nothing like me. For starters, he's really little. I'm nine. He's three. You'd think a three-year-old wouldn't get into so much trouble, but he's totally, absolutely out of control! There must be something you can do, like not bring him any money for toys when his teeth fall out. He breaks his toys anyway. That's why I'm writing.
I got a new bike for my birthday and I hope to one day be on the bike team and travel the world with lots of different speeds on my bike and take my bike to different countries so I can bike and see cool places.
But Dylan is the problem. I know he's little and stuff...but really, it's all just too much for one big brother to handle. I feel like I should take his baby blanket away and see how he likes it. He knows I'm writing to you. I told him. It didn't make a difference. He doesn't have to worry about the Tooth Fairy yet.
Oh, now Dylan is at it again! He just tore all the pages out of my comic book, leaving me with only the cover! What's the use of a cover with no pages inside! Yesterday, he took my favorite toy truck that I put on a shelf where he couldn't reach it, but he got anyhow, and broke it. Last week I was building a house of cards and he kicked it!
But I was telling you about my bike, which I really like. I mean liked. Who knows how, but he took the spokes and bent them all out of shape. I can only guess what he was thinking. How can I make straight lines into curvy wavy ones? How can I create new shapes from my brother's bicycle spokes?
Anyway, that's what happened. I don't know why he does these things. My mom says that he is exploring his universe, but he is ruining mine. My dad says that he is defining himself, but I already know what he is: A PEST!
Memo To: Blake
Re: Destructo Boy
From: The Tooth Fairy
I read your letter about your brother tearing up your comic books, breaking your truck, and bending the spokes on your bike with great concern. I'm part of a team of fairies whose job it is to fulfill the dreams of children, and you're obviously way too busy to be dreaming about the future. I took your letter to my fairy committee meeting, and we came up with a few ideas to help you be happy again.
Remember that you were once a little boy, too, and that's when children like to discover the world and try everything out. They don't know to just look and not touch unless we tell them these things. Plus, they are growing and sometimes don't know how strong their arms or lets have become compared to when they were a baby!
We suggest you show your brother your treasure chest of toys, comics, and even show him how you ride your bike and explain that he will be doing it with you when he is a little older. But in order to do that, he must treat things gently, and maybe you can explain that it would be the same way he treat your pets, with special care.
When he comes to realize that you need your things treated carefully, we believe he will try very hard to do just that. He may accidentally break things once in a while, but we all have accidents. Even I've been known to fly into a tree or tall building every now and then. Once the Fairy Godmother turned a mouse into a shoe rather than a coachman...oh, that's another story, my friend, Blake, for another letter.
I liked your letter. Your goal to travel the world with your bicycle is such a great one. I hope you will make these trips and send me postcards to tell me about what you see in these different and wonderful places in our world.
I have my own favorite places, of course, such as Southern California where children like to have lots of activities and there are so many interesting cultures living together and sharing.
I wish you every happiness this year. The opportunity to help your little brother grow up and become responsible is a wonderful challenge for you. Please let me know how things turn out and send my best to your parents.
The Tooth Fairy
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Patricia Rust Productions (December 2002)